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  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Shadow: Edited

    A moment passed, then another, before a dark shadow launched into the air. The shadowy figure hung for moments, a dark blotch against the blue-black sky, before plummeting down. Somersaulting ...

    Mar 1, 2006
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: January Mornings

    Ohmygod, I can completely imagine you reading this out loud. It's really... good. :D It's cold outside. Now that was an interesting line. I like how you used it twice, ...

    Feb 3, 2006
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: I stink at titles... So this will be called "something&

    Movie Theater In the very first line, this is capitalized. It isn't a proper noun, unless you put in the name of this particular movie theater. I really like how ...

    Feb 3, 2006
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: I Bid Remembrance a Rough Farewell

    Hmm... This is a little hard to understand. I really like the style you've written it in. For I would miss the way She’d tell I think it makes the ...

    Feb 3, 2006
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: On top of The World

    I think you probably should have put this into lyrical, because, although you WROTE it from mulitple points of view, the poem is from one point of view. Yu still ...

    Feb 2, 2006
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: david

    Ohmygod. This just was really excellent poetry... I wasn't expecting that. I think it made the plot... less mushy, and more fitting to the type of style you chose to ...

    Feb 2, 2006
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Intellectual Barbie

    This is a really good poem. I can't exactly see what you are trying to convey here, but the first verse just sounds... really good. I tink maybe because "Make ...

    Jan 21, 2006
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: On Watching Donnie Darko

    I. Am. Madly. In. Love. With. Frank. The SIX FOOT TALL BUNNY! Okay. I totally watched that movie like 3 times over and over last night, hahaha. But on your ...

    Jan 18, 2006
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: The Black Rose

    It seems like you used a few words that have... well, gone out ogf style, and it seems you might find a few of them in some really old stuff ...

    Jan 16, 2006
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The steps to Heaven

    She looked up at me, her eyes wide like Anna Marie when she had seen that one butterfly on a flower out in the soccer field while we were at ...

    Jan 9, 2006
  • Short Story » General, General Re: My Trip to the Hospital

    This was odd. I don't exactly see what you are trying to say... like what Shriek said. "...The pain came from everywhere but my ears..." This cracked me up :D

    Dec 4, 2005
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Stay

    These are really beautiful lyrics. The name could be chnaged, because it seems... kind of plain, compared to the rest of the lyrics. "Let’s pick at the scabs, From the ...

    Nov 30, 2005
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Jesus Was Gother Than You.

    WOW, I think this is ABSOLUETLY WONDERFUL! I think that you could add the name Dani in a little more, so readers won't be like, "Dani who?" Also, best friend ...

    Nov 26, 2005
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Restless

    So much energy With nowhere to go I don't know how To let it flow Let it leave Let it out I feel that things Are just about To blow, ...

    Nov 17, 2005
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: One of these days

    Then I can re-spin my past Like a spider that's a victim Rebuilding his broken home Old troubles not afflicting And then when I'm ready I'll start life all over ...

    Nov 17, 2005


Poetry comes alive to me through recitation.
— Natalie Merchant